From 12/22 to New Year’s Eve, I caught that nasty bug. After gallons of cough syrup, mountains of tissue and a lot of rest, I’ve shook most of the nastiness off. It’s not the first time I’ve been sick during the holidays. However, this sickness was definitely teaching me something.
I had been keeping a breakneck pace up almost from October forward. I had crisscrossed the country and also dealt with some decidedly un-fun situations too. Right before I caught the bug, I felt like I was fighting nearly everything and everyone. I was hyper-vigilant and agitated. I feel inadequacy often, and I felt like I was steamrolling into 2019 without a plan and I was a nervous wreck in early December. Definitely wasn’t feeling “all is calm; all is bright”.
On 12/22, there was a hot tickle in my throat that I knew wasn’t strep. It’s funny when your throat chakra is out of whack, because it seems like everyone and everything suddenly wants to hear from you. And there I sat, on my couch, with a a hot lump at the bottom of my throat.
As the illness progressed, it dropped into my chest and I coughed so hard at times that my sides hurt. Of course the gunk came out in many Pantone shades of yellow to near chartreuse. I’d tire easily and it was hard to breathe.
I’d put a steamy towel on my face with eucalyptus oil and just inhale. It helped me get up in the morning. It would calm my cough down enough to sleep too. I had to take time just to breathe, with full focus, with full intent. It’s so important that we breathe, especially if in our stressful moments, especially if our tendency is to hold our breath. Breath can heal and I was reminded of that as I journeyed with this bug.
Stillness heals too. How often to we allow ourselves the healing that’s available in stillness–not expecting anything of ourselves, not moving, not doing? I need more stillness in my life. The world didn’t end because I wasn’t managing it.
I slept with intention. I’ve been learning to set an intention before I sleep, especially to heal what needs healing, resolve that which needs resolving. I had very thick, metaphoric dreams when I was ill. I paid attention to them. The struggle in my dream world reflected the tensions I felt when supposedly wide awake.
I finally shook off most of this illness on NYE. I still have a shallow cough, but I’m mostly back to being Kristin, but Kristin with a new perspective–one that is paying attention to her breath and giving herself enough stillness.
My wish for you is that you have a wonderful, healthy, happy 2019.
Thank you for journeying with me!
Follow Actress & Producer Kristin West on her adventures, whether on a movie set, at a film festival or on her travels. Kristin co-hosts What Women Want Talk Radio on LA Talk Radio and is a contributor for MOGUL & Domain of Horror.