Tag: inspiration

Cleaning Up My Perspective & Purses During COVID-19

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I work from home.  I’m used to it.  I’ve been busy, even as there’s a great deal of uncertainty in the entertainment industry.  Today, I took a breather and set out to the task of cleaning.  I cleaned my office and I emptied out my purses, which I hadn’t cleaned out since the lock down began .  It was like going though a mini time-capsule.

 

What was in my purses:

promotional materials for a film festival screening I attended

breath mints

coin change for parking

assorted colored pencils, highlighters and post-it notes for marking scripts on-the-go when I chose to work at cafes

an extension cord for plugging my lap top into an electrical outlet at a cafe

a movie ticket

Cleaning out my purses hit me hard.  As I cleaned, I felt like I had just been through a strange time warp.  We don’t know what the future will bring, though we’ve been told there’s a “new normal” coming.  What I want to emphasize here is that, yes, all of this made me blue today.  However, I quickly pivoted to my gratitude for those experiences and the hope that I can have them again soon when it’s safe to do so.

The film festival promo materials reminded me that I love film festivals and seeing my work on the big screen.    I am grateful to all the film festivals that have ever screened my work.

The breath mints were comic.  Though we’ll be wearing masks for awhile, the mints reminded me that we need to keep a (minty) fresh perspective.  Let’s not get stuck into to many ruts or bad thought grooves at this time.

They stopped enforcing most parking ordinances since the stay-at-home order in Los Angeles, so I haven’t needed to feed a meter.  Admittedly, parking Los Angeles has been way easier.  I am grateful for the days in Los Angeles when scoring a parking spot was the biggest of my worries.  I now know there are far bigger things to have anxiety over.  I’ve had to learn how to better manage my anxiety.

cappuccino in ceramic mug
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I love my home, but sometimes I need to get out of the house to work more efficiently.  I get TOO comfortable.  I am grateful for all the times I’ve had great coffee and a great work day and even run into old friends.  I hope to enjoy this again soon.

The extension cord reminded me of how lucky I am to have basic utilities and that all of my utility services are still going, despite the pandemic.  Those working to keep our water, power and sanitation going are essential workers too and we owe them much for their service at this time.

A movie ticket…There’s much discussion right now of how to move the industry forward during the pandemic.  Fortunately, I am very diversified.  Some are not and it’s been difficult to see how many friends and colleagues are anxious and suffering right now.  The movie ticket is my reminder to rebuild.  The movie ticket is my reminder to adapt as best I can.  There will be no Dark Ages of Entertainment if I can help it.

Instead of yearning for the past, what can we do to bring our appreciation into the future?

 

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Quotes for the 50th Anniversary of Earth Day

It’s the 50th Anniversary of Earth Day.  With the corona virus still keeping us indoors, it seems the earth itself is healing too.   Here are some great food-for-thought quotes about our relationship to Earth.

  1. sky earth galaxy universe
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    “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” Mahatma Gandhi

  2. “Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky.” Khalil Gibran
  3. “Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.” Henry David Thoreau
  4. “Find your place on the planet. Dig in, and take responsibility from there.” Gary Snyder
  5. “It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.” Neil Armstrong
  6. “Water and air, the two essential fluids on which all life depends, have become global garbage cans.” Jacques-Yves Cousteau
  7. “We don’t inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” David Brower
  8. We knew that man’s heart, away from nature, becomes hard.” Chief Luther Standing Bear
  9. “We are all butterflies. Earth is our chrysalis.” LeeAnn Taylor
  10. “Someday, I hope that we will all be patriots of our planet and not just of our respective nations.” Zoe Weil
  11. “What have they done to the earth?
    What have they done to our fair sister?
    Ravaged and plundered and ripped her and bit her
    Stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn
    And tied her with fences and dragged her down” Jim Morrison
  12. “If you really want to remedy the earth, we have to mend mankind. And to unite mankind, we heal the Earth. That is the only way. Mother Earth will exist with or without us.”  Suzy Kassem
  13. “Life is a dance between heaven and earth, the ebb and flow of life.” Maurice Spees
  14. “The planet was being destroyed by manufacturing processes, and what was being manufactured was lousy, by and large.” Kurt Vonnegut
  15. “Earth is a small town with many neighborhoods in a very big universe.” Ron Garan
  16. “Deep under our feet the Earth holds its molten breath, while the bones of countless generations watch us and wait.” Isaac Marion
  17. “When you look more generally at life on Earth, you find that it is all the same kind of life. There are not many different kinds; there’s only one kind. It uses about fifty fundamental biological building blocks, organic molecules.” Carl Sagan
  18. “We’re reaching the point where the Earth will have to end the burden we’ve placed on her, if we don’t lift the burden ourselves.” Steven M. Greer
  19. To define perpetual growth on a finite planet as the sole measure of economic well-being is to engage in a form of slow collective suicide. To deny or exclude from the calculus of governance and economy the costs of violating the biological support systems of life is the logic of delusion.” Wade Davis
  20. “From the Moon’s surface, the Earth is but a tiny, blue teardrop in the inky blackness of space.” Stewart Stafford

Happy Earth Day!

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Too Much…Too This…Too That

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Too sensitive

Too bossy

Too loud

Too emotional…

If you’ve ever had the word “too” weaponized against you, you know how baffling and painful it is.  So many women have felt the pain of this three-letter word. I have and I am not allowing it to hurt me anymore.  Not now, not today, not ever again.  Someone’s hurtful use of the word “too” is now my marching orders to go further in that direction.

It’s brave to be who you are, as you are, in a world that says, “You’re too much” and yet never enough at the same time. Ladies, I am sorry that someone tried to dim your light.  I am sorry that someone tried to quiet you down.  I am sorry that someone tried to stunt your leadership growth.  I am proud of you that you kept shining, kept speaking and kept growing in spite of a world that says confusingly, often at the same time, that “you’re too much,” and will never be enough.  I’ve had enough of it, personally.

This International Women’s Month, this is my focus:  to reclaim the parts of me that were “too much” and to shush the nonsense monologue in my head that says I’ll never be enough for this romantic partner, or that job, or that level of income.  It’s time to kick “too much” and “never enough” out of our lives.  They’re two-word poison pills we keep swallowing that stunt our growth, joy and potential.

You are never too much.  You are beautiful and brilliant just as you are AND always enough.  Wishing you a healing International Women’s Month.

 

 

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Bubbling Over with Body Positive Joy!

When Yi asked me to climb on her conference room table, I didn’t hesitate.

This past week, Yi Zhou, founder of Global Intuition, a fast-rising international fashion brand, invited me to her headquarters in Beverly Hills for a body positive photo shoot.

Yi is a Chinese multimedia artist who has lived in Rome from the age of eight and studied between London and Paris with degrees in Political Science and Economics.  Her innovative work has been shown at Shanghai Biennale, Venice Biennal, Sundance Film Festival and Cannes Film Festival.  Global in reach, she founded her creative strategy digital production company, Yi Zhou Studio, in Shanghai and Hong Kong.  In late 2017, she brought her creative vision to LA  as a strategic partner of Cinemoi Network, Royal Yacht. She is currently developing her first feature film as writer and director.

I had the privilege of meeting Yi through What Women Want Show about a year ago as she was preparing her Fred Segal show.  I was extremely impressed by Yi’s drive, ambition and poise.  Yi’s brand is called Global Intuition and I can see why.  Working with Yi, she has a global outlook and also a strong sense of what makes others look and feel good.  My shoot with Yi was fun, collaborative and inspiring.

Here’s your first look–Body Positive and Bubbles!

global intuition shoot
Body Positive and Bubbles.  Photo by Yi Zhou of Global Intuition.

Yi and I discussed what intuition is and why it’s important for women, and really everyone, to trust their intuition .  Intuition seems to power much of what she does and how she works.

Video Courtesy of Yi Zhou, Global Intuition

My biggest take away from spending time with Yi this week was that joy and intuition  make everything we do better!  If you bring a joyful heart to whatever you are doing, and trust your hunches, you can accomplish so much.  Trust your intution and let your joy bubble over!

 

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Pivoting to Autumn

It’s not fall yet, despite what Starbucks may have you believe.  The autumnal equinox is a little over a week away, on September 23.  Yet, you may already be feeling fall settling in.  I walk almost every day and I see the leaves changing and falling.

autumn autumn leaves blur close up
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Sometimes in life we don’t make the sharp turns that movies and TV would have us think are part and parcel of an exciting life.  Not all of our lives have convenient plot points.  Change is often gradual, like the seasons.  Lately, I’ve been learning to pivot, to observe the transition and not necessarily fixate on the end result or where I would prefer to have things.  The art of pivoting, for me, like the trees, is the art of knowing what to let go, when and how.  It’s not dropping everything at once in a fury.  It’s not uprooting and escaping.  It’s knowing what to expand and what to contract at the right time.  Pivoting takes a great deal of patience and discernment.  It also takes a great deal of faith.  Just as a tree lets go of its leaves gracefully, we are challenged to make our changes in life as gracefully and gratefully as possible.

 

 

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April Foolishness

April Fool’s Day…a day of bad jokes and silly pranks…the unofficial holiday of every class clown, every comedian and every comedy actor.  With the year nearly a quarter over, it’s time to pause and think about the ways we’ve been foolish too, especially with our priorities for the year.

foolOf course, my inner hermeticist also thinks of The Fool Card, and it’s number, zero.  What cliff am I too close to for comfort?  Am I going to tumble over, get pushed or take a flying leap? Zero–what in my life needs spring cleaning or a clean slate?

It’s foolish to pursue your dreams.  Do it anyway.

It’s foolish to choose passion over security.  Do it anyway.

It’s foolish to choose the new over the devil-you-know.  Do it anyway.

A fool that learns from their experiences–their falls–is no longer a fool  Enough falls means the beginnings of wisdom.  Get up, fall again, repeat.  I’ve had to become very “okay” with failure in the past year.  I’ve had to become very “okay” with things not working out the way I very much wanted, that some situations I wanted could not be forced into my so-called “right direction” despite my best and sincere efforts.

Failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure.  So many of us feel pressure to “make something happen” and we discount that so much of success in career, our success in relationships, or success in life in general depends on cooperating with others with right intentions and often, good timing.  You shouldn’t build a rock house on sand.  The foundation isn’t right to support the weight.  A business venture that’s too ahead of its time might languish.  A relationship where two people seem good together, but don’t have the same intentions, will often fail.   You’re only a failure if you don’t get the lesson from the experience, if you fell of the cliff without the lesson, if you’re bitter and not BETTER.

I think one of the great joys in life is being a fool, if you approach it the right way, not being reckless for the sake of being reckless. Being a good fool means that you are open to experience, good or bad, come what may, and that you have some healthy curiosity.  You don’t have to know it all.  You just have to have a lust to experience it all–or what you want of “it all”.  You’re not closed off.  So many people claim to “know” things they actually have no direct experience in whatsoever.  They’re relying on  the second-hand truths of fools who had the courage (or naivete) to ask “what if”.

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Ultimately, I think good foolishness is foolishness with intent–not just wandering for the sake of wandering, but moving with intent, even if it means you get precariously close to some cliffs from time to time, literal or emotional.  If you find yourself being foolish or accused of being foolish, check on your intent.  Is your path of action serving to grow you or is this some kind of distraction?

Happy April Fool’s Day!  Wishing you healthy foolishness and healthy curiosity now and always!

 

 

 

 

 

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Why I Love Faerie Doors

So often, we get in the trap of waiting, watching and hoping for that “big opportunity”.  Then, we end up sitting on our hands.  Waiting in itself is not bad.  Being choosy is not bad.  However, it’s rare that a “big opportunity”  just shows up out of nowhere.  More often and more likely,  large, big and important things come out of very small things, like saying hello to a new person.

img_3375I love having faerie doors in my home because my faerie doors remind me to create space for the smaller, unseen, unplanned things in my life.  You may or may not believe in faeries, but seeing the tiny doors throughout my home on a daily basis reminds me that great things often enter our life in small interactions, small moments and small kindnesses.  I’ve opened my home and my heart to a little magic and in that opening, some nice insights have come through those small doors.

We sometimes focus so much on the “big” things in life that we don’t give credence to the seemingly small.  The small builds the large.  While we’re waiting on a large knock on a big door, perhaps we can create some small doors too and see what comes in too.

For more of my fave things, check out my Amazon store.

 

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Deep Coughs, Deep Breaths, Deep Insights

From 12/22 to New Year’s Eve, I caught that nasty bug.  After gallons of cough syrup, mountains of tissue and a lot of rest, I’ve shook most of the nastiness off.  It’s not the first time I’ve been sick during the holidays.  However, this sickness was definitely teaching me something.

I had been keeping a breakneck pace up almost from October forward.  I had crisscrossed the country and also dealt with some decidedly un-fun situations too.  Right before I caught the bug, I felt like I was fighting nearly everything and everyone.  I was hyper-vigilant and agitated.  I feel inadequacy often, and I felt like I was steamrolling into 2019 without a plan and I was a nervous wreck in early December.  Definitely wasn’t feeling “all is calm; all is bright”.

On 12/22, there was a hot tickle in my throat that I knew wasn’t strep.  It’s funny when your throat chakra is out of whack, because it seems like everyone and everything suddenly wants to hear from you.  And there I sat, on my couch, with a a hot lump at the bottom of my throat.

As the illness progressed, it dropped into my chest and I coughed so hard at times that my sides hurt.   Of course the gunk came out in many Pantone shades of yellow to near chartreuse.  I’d tire easily and it was hard to breathe.

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I’d put a steamy towel on my face with eucalyptus oil and just inhale.  It helped me get up in the morning.  It would calm my cough down enough to sleep too.  I had to take time just to breathe, with full focus, with full intent.  It’s so important that we breathe, especially if in our stressful moments, especially if our tendency is to hold our breath.  Breath can heal and I was reminded of that as I journeyed with this bug.

Stillness heals too.  How often to we allow ourselves the healing that’s available in stillness–not expecting anything of ourselves, not moving, not doing?  I need more stillness in my life.  The world didn’t end because I wasn’t managing it.

 

I slept with intention.  I’ve been learning to set an intention before I sleep, especially to heal what needs healing, resolve that which needs resolving.  I had very thick, metaphoric dreams when I was ill.  I paid attention to them.  The struggle in my dream world reflected the tensions I felt when supposedly wide awake.

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I finally shook off most of this illness on NYE.  I still have a shallow cough, but I’m mostly back to being Kristin, but Kristin with a new perspective–one that is paying attention to her breath and giving herself enough stillness.

My wish for you is that you have a wonderful, healthy, happy 2019.

Thank you for journeying with me!

 

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You’re Not Your Packaging

Sometimes, we get gifts wrapped in pretty paper, topped with voluptuous, shiny bows.  Hopefully, the gift inside is just as great as the paper its wrapped in.  Sometimes, it’s not.  Many of us have had the experience of receiving a gift that was smartly gift-wrapped but perhaps wasn’t quite what we wanted or expected. 

 

christmas xmas gifts presents
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Too often, we are judged by what I call our packaging:  weight, skin color, ethnicity, wardrobe, etc, instead of what’s inside of us, our ideas, our passions, our character.  Today, let’s remember that we’re not our packaging although many in the world rush to classify us into boxes–with or without those shiny bows.  Today, let’s also consider how we can be a gift to other people, even if it’s just the gift of a smile or a kind word.   You are NOT your packaging.  What gift do you have to share?

 

 

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Weighty Self-Worth Issues

This week, I had a lesson in how valuable I am.  From time to time, we say to ourselves, “I’m valuable.  I’m important.  I have something to offer,” etc.  It’s easy to pay lip service to those affirmations, but it’s a whole different matter when we actually have to calculate our worth in real terms.  Yesterday night, I was crunching a bunch of numbers regarding some of my business ventures and I realized that I had a good sense of my worth.  I wasn’t asking “Who would want to pay for that?”  Instead, I was asking, “Who wouldn’t?”

Not everyone has had the epiphany I’ve had though.  It’s been well documented that skinnier women get paid more than heavier women and all women are touched by the gender pay gap in some way as well.

Freek Vermeulen explains:

Various studies have shown that overweight people are seen as less conscientious, less agreeable, less emotionally stable, less productive, lazy, lacking in self-discipline, and even dishonest, sloppy, ugly, socially unattractive, and sexually unskilled; the list goes on and on.* The stereotypes run so deep that even obese people hold these same discriminatory beliefs about other obese people.

It’s hard to stand up for what you’re worth as a plus size woman in the world.  It’s hard to fight years of stereotypes, especially the ones we’ve internalized and had used against us.  The saddest thing to me is that people with weight challenges do often hold these beliefs about others with weight issues.  I know I too struggle with this and I have to check myself.

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of body positivity.pngToday’s the day to really ponder what you think you’re worth.  Are you short-selling yourself because you’ve told your body makes you “less than”?  You’re important and valuable whether you’re a size 0 or a size 5X.

Also, don’t forget to measure value in more abstract terms too.  Real dollars and cents make sense, but are you treated well at your work?  Do you feel valued and important?  Your paycheck may be adequate but the emotional cost of your work environment may be too much.  There are some things money can’t buy, and one of those things is a happy heart and an ebullient spirit.

I think one of the most freeing things that can happen for anyone struggling with body image issues is to get to that head space where you have “zero f**ks given”.  You’re just doing you.  That’s the zero you ultimately want to achieve.  Zero is not a size to achieve but an attitude to aspire to, where you know what makes you happy and you’re not allowing others to dictate to you what you should think and feel about yourself and others.  So that’s the zero that I wish all people get to–not a teensy weensy size but a big, bold attitude of self empowerment and self worth.

 

 

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No Skinny Shaming. No Fat Shaming. No Shame.

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It’s very easy to cherry pick reality these days.  It’s very easy to ignore what’s inconvenient or what doesn’t matter or apply to you.  In the curvy and plus size community, we deride “thin privilege” but we have less conversations about “skinny shaming”–picking on someone because they are “too thin”.  How many times have you thought “that person should eat a cheeseburger”, not even knowing them?

lacretia lyons mrs birghtsideThere’s at least two sides to every issue and while we as plus sized people do suffer from “thin privilege” we pay very little credence to how thin shaming hurts everyone too.  I recently discussed this in depth with Lacretia Lyon on her Mrs. Brightside show.  Lacretia and I both had relatives that could not put on weight no matter what they ate and we discussed how that impacts them and our perceptions and relationships with them.

One thing we have to remember when we discuss the human body is that human bodies are human.  Picking on people hurts them.  Being picked on hurts and damages.  Unacknowledged bias hurts and impacts people.  One of my new mantras going forward is “no shame”.  No thin shaming, no fat shaming…no shaming period.  If we extend a little more love, respect and compassion for others, perhaps we’ll start to become the change in the world we want to see.

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Body Positivity: My Spirit Needs Space!


I used to hate tale of Cinderella.  First, Cinderella was cheerful about doing housework.  Second, she has tiny, delicate feet.  I wear an 11W.  My shoe options are limited, compared to other women.  My feet need space.  My whole self needs space.

Copy of Copy of Copy of body positivity (1) It seems like plus sized women are not allowed to take up space. .  I recently went to a Sears and the plus size section was dwarfed by the petite section.  I went to Bloomingdale’s.  They don’t even have plus size attire in the store anymore–“online only” I was told, by the employees, many of whom were plus sized.  Macy’s has one third of one sales floor dedicated to plus size clothing, compared to two and two-thirds floors of miss and junior sized apparel.

It’s hard not to get frustrated when whole world seems to be telling you, “You don’t belong here.”  Yet, so many women around you are similar to you.  How can retailers and the culture as a whole invalidate the lives and bodies of so many women?

Take your space, especially in a world where we’re told we’re too big, too “this” or “that”.  Find space for you just to be you–online, at home, on the beach, wherever makes you happy.  Your body is the vessel of your spirit and my spirit is big–so it needs a bigger vessel.  So many of us have pain and shame over weight and image issues, but out of that pain can come a deep compassion for others who haven’t been allowed their “spaces” either, so use that and heal the world with that big heart and big spirit today.

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