Admitting My Fears

I’d be lying right now if I didn’t admit I was scared.

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I am scared everyday.  I am scared by the lack of leadership and coherence.  I am scared by the lack of unity.  I am scared that there’s no vaccine and not enough tests for this virus.  I am scared of the halt to most filming.  I am scared for loved ones who live in states where social distancing isn’t respected.  I am scared when I sneeze or cough, or feel just plain icky.

Once again, it’s time to inventory what I can and cannot control.

  1.  I can lead by example by social distancing and wearing masks and gloves.  I can post about what I am doing to stop the spread of this virus.  I can set a standard for my family to follow and take proper precautions.
  2. I can choose not to add to the din of social media right now.  I can choose not to attack my neighbors, friends and strangers online or offline.  I can choose to add helpful, factual information from credible sources and actionable tips and advice.  An ignorant person has to choose not to remain ignorant. I can instruct the ignorant, but its not my place to scold or punish those who are willfully and dangerously ignorant.
  3. I am not a scientist.  I choose to trust the science and the scientists, doctors and nurses.  When I need expert advice, I take it.
  4. Many of our industries will bounce back after a time.  It may not be on my preferred timeline, and there will be changes, but the film industry is resilient.  I am resilient and I will adapt as best I can to the changes that will inevitably take place.
  5. I cannot choose the actions or inaction of the federal, states or local governments.  I can share what I know to be true with my family.  They can make their choices in accordance with their local laws.  I may not like what other states are or aren’t doing, but I believe in democracy and I believe people DO get the government they DESERVE.  If you believe you deserve better, vote and act differently.
  6. I can keep my risk of contracting COVID-19 down by maintaining social distance, washing my hands, disinfecting surfaces and keeping myself minimally stressed.  A sneeze is not a death sentence.

When we keep facing our fears, we can be more honest with ourselves.  There is no “okay” right now.  It’s okay to be “not okay”.  However, we can’t just let our fears spin around in our monkey minds.  We need to get curious about them, like we would a new, intriguing species or a first date.

I’ve found Therapeer to be a free, valuable resource to discuss your COVID-19 fears with supportive peers.

Join me on Therapeer to receive peer emotional support, and to support others in need. Follow this link to get your own private support room for free https://www.therapeer.app/invite/xupg3

I am still scared, but I am supported in moving through and beyond my fears.

2019: The Year of the Martians

I’m not talking about little green men or Marvin the Martian.  I’m talking about the character of 2019.  The New Year came in on a Tuesday–day of Mars–and Mars is the driver’s seat this year, in Aries.

Find your Natal Mars sign here.

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Mars rules Aries (as well as Scorpio) and is exalted in Capricorn.  You may be feeling “on fire”–are you passionate or getting burned?  Mars is about drive, confrontation, taking action and making war.  Aries energy confronts challenges, individuates and shows strength.

“Mars in Aries”–the fight for you, the fight for your individuality, your authenticity, the fight for your passion, the drive to do it your own way.  (Cue Frank Sinatra, “I did it my way”).

The New Year had Mars in Aries at nearly 0 degrees–so this a very much like lighting a match.  The fire you may be feeling is fresh, new.  There’s a quality of newness.  It’s the fire of fire–acting for the sake of acting.  It’s a year to make your will known and heard–and act on your will.

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The year did start with a waning moon and waning moon years are about deep emotional let-go-s.  (Cue Frozen).  You’re not letting go with resignation though. It’s not giving up.  That Tuesday, Martian, solar start says you’re letting go to get in alignment with your true will.  There’s just stuff you don’t want to carry around anymore so you can move faster and stronger towards what you truly want.  You want to travel lighter.

If you have natal Mars in Capricorn, Aries, Scorpio, Sagittarius or Leo, you’re on fire right now and feeling this Mars energy.  Remember this feeling as Mars transits through other signs this year and you may be feeling down or deterred.  Hold on to this passion that you’ve started something new with this year.

If you have natal Mars in Libra or Taurus, it’s okay if you’re not feeling the passion right now.  Honor any burnout you may feel.  Honor that little voice that says “be careful”.   Things may be moving too fast and too recklessly for you.  Bide your time.  Take the long view.  You’re being choosy about whom and what to fight for and that’s okay.

If you have your natal Mars in Cancer, Mars influences you less than other planets.  Be careful of passive aggressive tendencies, though.  Don’t rain on someone else’s parade.  You may not see what the fuss is about.  When water confronts fire you get steam or hot water.  You can heal or hurt.  You get to choose.

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If you have natal Mars in Aquarius or Gemini, don’t get swept up in someone’s passion project to the point you neglect yourself.  Have a plan and work the plan, but don’t get relegated to being the sidekick.  Likewise, where there’s smoke there’s fire.  Your “early warning” radar is on high alert.  Trust your hunches.  Fire energy needs air to fuel it and smoke is the product of fire.  You’ll be very in tune to the rhythms of this year.

If you have natal Mars in Virgo, you also have to guard against getting swept up in someone else’s passion project to the detriment of yourself.  The energy here is like lava–hot, but when it cools, creates new ground and new stones with which to build.  Managing your temper, especially if you’re in a habit of biting your tongue to keep the peace, could get challenging in a Mars years.

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If you have natal Mars in Pisces, you may feel left out or out of sync.  The pace at which things are transpiring may irk you.  When you’re feeling pushed or not in the driver’s seat, imagine a peaceful waterfall, the water surrendering to gravity, with a bright rainbow dancing against the cascades of water.  You are that rainbow–a sliver of beautiful light in constant movement.

 

Other insights:

Mars itself, the actual planet, becomes a big topic.

People are not afraid to fight in a Mars-driven year. Unfortunately, this means more potential for conflicts, especially in countries that are ruled by Aries, like England.  The Brexit debacle is exacerbated by this Mars energy.  We are also attracted to politicians with military experience, especially combat experience.

Athleticism and athletes draw more attention this year, especially in individual sports, like tennis, boxing and golf.  Expect a big headline or two, especially in boxing, since the tendency of Mars is to want to draw blood.  Lots of luck for fire sign boxers this year, especially when the matches are happening during Aries, Leo or Sagittarius season.  Even the Rams might get some extra astrological love this year, since Aries is the ram.

Mars rules any kind of weaponry, from guns to pepper spray.  The gun control debate will be in full swing, especially pertaining to the “individual’s” (Aries) right to bear arms (Mars)”.

The pertinent tarot cards are The Emperor (Aries) and The Tower (Mars).  Emperors by their nature are autocrats and rule by force.  The Tower indicates an act of God, or a sudden insight or revelation, shaking people from their lofty and exalted positions and the tower is on fire.

In this year, if someone seems entrenched or immovable or has consolidated their power to the point they’re too comfortable, it’s likely a sudden shock or unanticipated event will throw them.  Expect the unexpected, especially when it seems like someone may be invulnerable. In the traditional image, it’s two people who fall off the tower, so it’s likely the Emperor and an enabler fall off.  If you look at the original Rider-Waite image, in defiance of gravity, one of the persons falling off the tower still wears a crown–like an emperor.

Likewise, there’s a lot of ego energy to go around this year and a sudden insight or misfortune may knock the ego and force us to grow spiritually in ways we don’t think we need to.  The more positive side of this is that we may get the flash of insight we’ve needed for years if we’re spiritually ready for it.  Instead of being punished in the tower, we may get the lightning bolt of insight (Mars) to rule (Aries) over ourselves with confidence, compassion and dignity.

Happy New Year!  The red planet is red hot this year.  Use this energy to your advantage!

 

 

 

Land of the Free?

“land of the free and the home of the brave…”

aspire posterAm I brave enough?  I ask myself this question constantly.  Am I taking the path of least resistance because it’s more convenient?  I see and hear from so many angsty people daily, in person, on my social feeds.  And sometimes, I’ve taken the primrose path of least resistance or sat on the sidelines or decided to be above the fray.

This week, I started questioning what would have happened if George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and the other Founders had taken the path of least resistance.  Would I be here today, enjoying (for now) my freedom of speech and freedom of the press which enables me to have a Hollywood livelihood?

I was saddened by the shootings at the Capital Gazette, but it’s not enough to be saddened.  It’s not enough to have prayers and thoughts.  Almost everyone has thoughts.  It’s what you do with those thoughts that count.  What brave action have you undertaken lately?

For me, it’s been delving into an aspect of film making I know little about:  documentary.  I am currently producing and narrating “George Hobbs:  Stick Figure Wisdom“, about Los Angeles artist George Hobbs who uses his free speech to make art that pushes back against the powers that be.

There’s a swath of people in this country who are decidedly anti-journalist and anti-media, which is why those of us in fields that depend on freedom of speech, freedom of press and freedom of information must continue to offer the truth, whether it’s heard and appreciated or not.

This Fourth of July weekend, enjoy the fireworks, but make some fireworks of your own in your own life in a metaphorical sense.  Make a big bold statement.  Make a declaration.  Speak your truth AND act on your truth.

Happy Fourth!